World, Why Is This All Happening To Me?
by Shikaido Yuki
Summary: Oneshot. A fan fic about Recca's feeling if his worst fear come true. Please R&R, no flames... RecYan


**Author's Ramblings: **The first one-shot fic I've ever made! Also the first Flame of Recca fan fic! Hehe… Got nothing to do without my ol' comppie. All my story data is in there, I can't continue writing without it, so I just make new ones! Hehe…Beware too, lots of angsty stuff here. Enjoy reading! You'll know soon enough whose POV I use…

**Key:**

"…" **speeches**

'_Italics_' **thoughts**

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

**World, Why Is This All Happening To Me?**

_by: Shikaido Yuki_

I remember the first time I saw her. She was at the park, bullied by a lady-boy. I fell in love with her at the first sight, her long light brown hair glimmered under the sun so beautifully. I gazed upon her a second, and realized, that she was in danger. Within a dash, I rescued her – only to be knocked out pathetically. When I regained my consciousness again, I saw her, smiling at me. She wasn't just beautiful outside, but her heart was more beautiful. Her smile amazed me, healed my wounds. I no longer felt pain at the time, didn't know that it was because her healing ability or her smiling face.

Then, time ran like a wind. There was the Fuuko accident, when Yanagi lectured me about the importance of appreciating women. I still smiled when I recalled that memory. Mikagami Tokiya, the ice cold swordsman… well, no comment for him. He's just a little weird, too much obsession about his dear-sister who had passed away, and because of that, he cut Hime's hair. I still couldn't forget the fact that I ignored Hime because of Tokiya's persuasion, without even talking or discussing the matter with her.

And of course, her kidnapping at Kurei's mansion. If Fuuko and Domon hadn't helped me, I wouldn't have been with Hime right now. Score for them, my two moron best friends. We managed to save her, with a slight risk of controlling the eight flame dragons. My dad almost _ate_ MY Hime at the time! If he weren't my dad, maybe I would kill him using Koku – oh wait, he is my dad.

Ura Butou Satsujin was intense, every second my heart was beating faster and faster. Questions began forming in my mind, What if I lose? What if I fail to protect my mistress? Every week, every hour, every minute, and every second… I was worried half to dead, worried that I would lose her… worried that she would left with no trace. Of course there was Tatsuko, one of the referees, who _deliberately_ kissed me. I was mistaken to blush, and received a stomp from Hime. Didn't think that she could have done _that_. But still, she looked cute.

The Forbidden Ground wasn't as dangerous as UBS, I could say. I mean, Mori Kouran hadn't wanted Hime – yet. I would stay relaxed, if I was sure that Hime was perfectly alright. I was so ashamed when Gaou threatened Hime to give him her chocolate and I could only be knocked out for the second time in front of her. Yet, I was proud. Hime was really brave to eat the chocolate, although it was really meant for me. I didn't mind.

Our peaceful days at school… ahh, I missed those days… those days that I could play with Hime with no worries in my mind… those days that I could be there for her… those days when I could see her smile from the bottom of her heart… ahh, those were beautiful days.

I was shocked for about three days when she _kissed_ me! Oh my God! I didn't think that she had the same feelings as I do…! Girls are hard to understand, and I'm certainly not an expert of that matter. I couldn't think of anything seconds after she kissed me… her soft lips touched mine… the kiss wasn't short, yet wasn't too passionate… but it told me clearly about her true feelings towards me. I was so happy, that I could react in time. There was _this_… indescribably feeling of happiness, nervousness, and love towards her.

Yes, I love her very much. I would not trade her for anything in this world. I would not leave her, I would be there for her… anytime, anywhere, and at any cost. I do those things not just because my duty as her number one ninja, but also because of love. I couldn't stand if she were angry at me, which never happened.

Her patience, kindness, sympathy, and empathy amaze me. How could she still smiling even in the most life-threatening situation? How could she have so much faith in me? How could she know that I was worth it? How? Only Hime could answer those questions.

And how could she have _that_ voice? _That_ beautiful voice that always shower my heart with flowers and love… I always loved it when she called me, "Recca-kun!" Ahh… I love her voice.

I just wondered why did she always unconfident with her… _ehm_, breasts size? She isn't too curvy, or too sexy either. She is NOT Fuuko, damn it. She isn't as curvy as Fuuko, and she doesn't have the same breast size as Fuuko does… But she's beautiful in such a different way… A way that even a girl as sexy and as sensual as Fuuko could NEVER ever have.

Yes, I just admitted that stupid purple-haired girl is gorgeous, but hey, it's the truth. I'm very sure too, that Mi-chan, the so called Mikagami-sempai or Tokiya, would agree with me. You're not sure? Well, have you ever seen Mikagami's gaze towards Fuuko? Full of passionate love. That silvered-haired guy who thinks he's the most perfect man ever, INDEED falls in love with out _baka_ hero: Kirisawa Fuuko. Hmm, never thought of that before, huh? Let's face it, they're meant for each other. I'm quite sure that they will be married in the future.

Oh Yanagi… my Hime, my Queen… I love you. I could only say those three most important words, without anything in hand to give… But I will protect you with my life, and I will try to make you happy… to make your life worry-free.

I would NEVER forgive Kagura Aoi, if that was his real name. He kidnapped Yanagi, and I couldn't stand it. Yanagi was now like a girl I no longer recognized. Her empty gaze, her unexpressive face… Every single memory from her was taken away by him. I could blame no one else but me myself. Why wasn't I there to save her? Why wasn't I ware enough? If only Tokiya hadn't warned me about that, Yanagi's situation would have been worse now. She would have been dead, due to the unison with that bastard Mori Kouran and Kaima. Hime, come back, I shouted aloud in my heart.

Fuuko's angry voice wake me up from my sleep. It was only five minutes, but enough to regain a little of my energy to save Yanagi from that monster. THAT monster was Mori Kouran and Kaima, the creator of evil madougus in the Hokage clan years ago.

I was sure Hiruko could be trusted, and he could. He managed to hold Tendo Jigoku for five minutes, as I requested. And I was wrong about Aoi. He kinda… _nice_, just pathetically too desperate.

But… I was TOTALLY SHOCKED when I saw that huge hideous snake-like monster. AND IT HAD HIME IN ITS MOUTH!

I didn't think of anything anymore, I only ran, climbing the monster up. "LET GO OF HIME!" I shouted on top of my lungs, punching my hands towards the monster with all the might and energy I had left. There was still a little hope, which I got from Aoi. He had returned some of Yanagi's memory. Maybe that would work… just maybe..

Then, I heard his madougu cracked.

The last hope…

had vanished.

But this wasn't the time to give up just yet! "Hime! Hime!" I called her name desperately. I wasn't going to give up, and it seemed that my friends weren't going to give up too. SHE'S GOING TO LIVE! I believed that thought so much.

Fuuko confessed. Oh, she liked me? Well, thanks, but you're meant for Mikagami. I mean… like-like and like-love is different right?

I was glad that all my friends supported Yanagi to 'stand' up in this kind of situation, their supports made me stronger.

Even the ice prince Tokiya Mikagami said something real nice too, "To be truthful, I have always felt left out in the Hokage team. At first, my mind was filled only with revenge. Where ever Recca and the others are, their friendship is so strong and it's located in a place I thought I could never reach… I thought it was okay for be to be alone, but I was wrong! Because… my place…my destiny is with them! Right now, right at this moment, I feel the same feeling as they all do! Wake up, Yanagi!"

Even with their supports, I was still worried, worried that I could never see her smiling face again.

But I thought… I just COULDN'T let Tendo Jigoku _eat_ her! I just COULDN'T and I WOULDN'T. "HIME!" I shouted, "I won't let you go just like that! Come HERE!"

Her empty expression changed. She was forming a smile for sure, and she was calling me with her utmost beautiful voice, "Recca! RECCA!" There were even tears of happiness in her eyes.

I reached my hand to her, and took her in my arms, protecting her. We landed safely on the ground, and I was very relieved. Nothing was wrong with her. She had her usual expression, and I knew that she wasn't a good liar.

"Hime! Yanagi… do you…" I gulp nervously, "…recognize me?"

She nodded, and called my name once again, "Yes, Recca-kun."

I cheered. Yea, I cheered in this kind of situation. I could only cheer to express my happiness.

"Kaoru! Domon! Aunt Kagerou! Tokiya-sempai! Fuuko! Kagura… I'm so happy to be able to meet all of you! You all are… my dearest best friends!" she had a wide smile on her face, but I sensed something wrong. Something REALLY wrong.

She stood up and hugged me on her knees. I was surprised, "Hime?" I whispered.

"…Recca… my life until now… is really great…! I really love you, thank you for all the happiness you've given to me…" she said with tears. Oh no, something really SICK was going on…

"Good bye, Recca…" she pronounced her last words.

I was shocked.

I couldn't do anything.

This wasn't the shiver… the feeling I felt when she kissed me, no!

My worst fears had come true.

I…

I lost Hime.

"Why…?" I whispered faintly, "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME!"

No, I wouldn't believe it.

I didn't just lose Yanagi, did I?

NO!

This ISN'T HAPPENING!

I gripped her lifeless body tight in my arm, hoping the impossible. Come back to life, Hime, please. Live! I know you can do it!

I felt my body weakened, numb. And I felt warm, red liquid storming out from me. I felt like my vision was blurring.

What happened?

"Recca!"

If only I were strong enough to protect Yanagi…

If only I returned her feelings earlier, before she passed away.

If only I had taken my job as a ninja who protects his master seriously.

If only I could save her.

If only… this all weren't happening.

World, why is this all happening to me?

How can you be so cruel?

**.owari.**

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

**Okay… what do you think? The last few dialogues are identical to the ones in the tankoubon, I'm sure some of you have noticed it. I just copied them, because this fan fic is made just to describe Recca's feeling if the worst was the one that occurred. You know, if he failed to save Yanagi. I feel angsty at the time, so I write this senseless and meaningless story. Please review, however, so I know that at least some _one_ is reading this fan fic. No flames please, I'm too angsty right now to read deadly flames. Beside, have a little pity on me, this is my first one-shot fan fic. I usually prefer the one with long, many chapters and long plots. Please review, I say once more. Please review, review, review! It's okay if you only type a letter, at least you give me a review! Even a one-letter review make me happy, although I never really get one of it…**

**Thanks for reading.**


End file.
